Year after year, I took for granted the simple pleasures of Christmas, Easter, and other holidays. I thought of gifts and fame for my poetry, what would most make me happy. When I came to realize what that felt like, I thought of accomplishment. However, it didn't feel as it should. That perfect happiness I could never find because I was always selfish. I never could sacrifice anything I received unless I thought I could get something out of it. My feelings were involved yes, but I knew a starving artist could not make a living. People with real jobs make their hard-earned money everyday, but I once thought I could do that with writing. I'm off subject. The point is I need to start giving more. It would make me feel at peace because I know all the gifts on earth will not help or enhance my chances of getting into heaven with the one true Lord. I always prayed when I thought it would be advantageous to my benefit, but now I know that only through Christ may I receive his Father. My time, hearing things I wanted, here on this earth, I did not do the work of God, yet I repented to him and sought out his forgiveness with my own acceptance. I denied the Lord when I thought only of myself. Now, I fear him because I've accepted His trutha and am on my way to understanding what path I'm on. I understand that my soul was never mine to share. It belongs to the Lord Goda and Christ his son. My heart and mind were filled with jealousy, lust, greed, and a thirst for blood, but I will be a Christian now. I want my life to be more meaningful. I want to be with my son, my family. The Lord knows all. His judgement will come. My thoughts are for him now. May we feel the love of the Almighty. "It's never too late." A quote I see as an indication that one can always be saved. I want and literally need my chance with God. I don't want to leave this earth having never known him. For that, and many other reasons, I decide to fulfill my life with Christ and his Father, that he may help me be wise in my future decisions. May the Lord always stay in my heart and cleanse my soul so that I can serve him. I abandon my previous judgements of others, as I do not have that right, nor have I earned it. "Judge not lest ye be judged." I want everlasting life with the Lord, not to be cast out as an evil spirit of the devil. Superstition is like religion. Both subjects have beliefs. I choose the Truth of God as mine. I may feel it is too late, but things can and will change, I hope. I forgive others, and perhaps they can forgive me.
Angela Teague